is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
