K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
my shit smells like andre
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
