3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
