I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
