Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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