I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
