If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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