If i come over, it means nothing
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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