i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I did not marry a roomba.
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