I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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