It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There r osticjed everywhere
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Edward fifth and chaser hands
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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