IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
3 2 1 whiskey
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
