i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
