can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
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We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
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And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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