remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
