It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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