We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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