Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize