Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
