New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
