I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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