what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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