why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
