My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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