I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
