He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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