Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
