Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
