We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
