I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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