hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I smell like Dick and happiness
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