is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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