I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
