A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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