I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
