that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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