ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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