Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
