I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
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