I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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