Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
