so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
