Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
