i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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