Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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