I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
