The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
