Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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