i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
They took my balls.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
