Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
