Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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