i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
