Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
