its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
