Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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