i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
