I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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