At least make sure they are 18
Why
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Help. Why am I so naked?
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