Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
