My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
